Gratification.

Where we come from

Plato's take on where "love" came from. There's a lot that I learned during this process, and even with it's many shortcomings there are moments in this project that I'm really proud of, so I hope you enjoy these. Ironically I just got back from the SVA Illustration and Cartooning thesis show that dealt greatly with the Greek/ Roman gods, so on some level I was working right alongside them on something similar :)

(These were cut out and placed on plastic sheets so that when one opens the book one is introduced to all three types of humans at once)

(Zeus' head flips up to reveal...)

(THE HEAAAVVEEEENNSS!! *angels trumpet*)

Wanted the story to end in a way that shows the quest for our other part and how it doesn't always lead right away to the proper person. When I imagined the story all I could think of was this sort of rubbery squelching sound of the objects in space rubbing against each other as they passed or hooked into each other. Which really doesn't make much sense since there's no sound in the vacuum of space, but since the logic of the solar system was thrown to the winds anyway there can't be much harm in it haha

Gettin there.

A try at the ol' photoshop. Had a totally different idea about this piece but for the purpose of an illustration assignment decided to zoom in... I handled this kind of sloppily and like always I reverted back to sticking the primary compositional element in the corner heh, oh well.

See originally I just wanted the forest and this sort of lone light hanging in the back obscuring things and sort of illuminating the only colors in a primarily blue, black and grey environment. But then yeah, for the class I figured nobody would get it, it's too abstract so I added the girl. Then after the initial feedback I went back, and started wondering who put the light there for the girl to find. So basically the inclusion of one character totally skewed the whole thing and made me overexplain things! Dangit!

Don't even properly care about this like the original so whatevs! Am trying to be more laid back about things and just ride out this last part of the year. A lot of times I take things really personally, especially grades and school work and stress out to the point of malfunction.

So if this blog lags for awhile, it's only because I'm gathering my wits, or going into a semi comatose state to make the journey through deep space seem shorter.

P!L!A!T!O!

Whoa, I didn't realize how bad blogger faded images, but dang these look awful! Haha, anyway, this is a snippet from an ongoing project in my Storytelling/ bookmaking class where I'm illustrating Plato's symposium, specifically the part talking about the origin of love.

Am not enjoying this project very much, mostly because of the pace at which we have to turn out work and the constant headbutting with the teacher over the medium I'm using (acrylic). Also the longevity of the project doesn't really allow for much growth. The entire class has been a bumpy ride because of the odd relationship with the teacher. On the one hand I think they're really nice and a fantastic artist. However my ideas and work habits are always met with borderline disrespect. Bummer yes, but whatever, will pump out the last few pieces and call it quits, FINITO SUMMER WHOOOO. MONTHS OF FREEDOM!SUNSHINE!BEACH!ICECREAM!!

A "Polished" rant.

Hello there folks! Kicked things off with a running start today with the first critique of the shiny new semester. It was a pretty interesting one since we had a substitute who actually systematically went through everyone's pieces and picked out all the inconsistencies. And DANG there were a lot! Most were sort of practical sharp observations about the technical aspects, but the biggest issue she had with mine she had was the mixing of the "Tragedy and Poetic/romantic" elements which through me a bit of a whammy because Tragedy is made romantic all of the time, and clearly my picture is fantasy. It sounded like she wanted there to be less substance? This teacher saw two seperate stories while I saw one? Her family perished in a tornado?

The focus was meant to be on the two tornado's having their moment and the houses were supposed to be just structural, like playmobil houses. And I know theres a cow! Because its bloody funny! I don't know, when I told her that I was offended that she thought me to be making fun of the dead (after coupling her own initial indifference toward the Crash in the twin towers with my painting mind you) she said she wouldn't mind me making fun of folks dieing. DEATH IS TRAGEDY. I say Watson this logic is circular!

But I didn't really disagree with any of her points she made. People do need to be aware of how their art comes across to other people, and clearly this picture is not as clear as it should be if the above was talked about. The whole bottom part of the picture is muddy. Haha and I respect her appreciation of stylization...and looked up her art and really liked it though it wasn't what I expected at all, yet still fit her to a T. Balls Ladies and Gentlemen, this lady has balls!

Which brings me to my next point, the fact that women artists have to have bigger balls than most other men folk, or atleast feel they need to feign them when dealing with others. A friend was telling me about her storytelling teacher and that she is absolutely terrifying and is constantly going on about how hard she's had to work just because she's a lady. Maybe I'm just really thick headed or just live in a really open artistic environment but do people look at my art differently because I'm a girl? Is it really that much harder to be an artist with a vagina? Thats so wierd since art school is a pretty estrogen infested place, but how many of those women actually use their skills after, or just give up when babies arrive? Not that commercial success is artistic success, so thats a little nebulous. OH MY GOD there might be a whole secret population of matronly van goghs trolling about our population and we wouldn't even know it because they're too busy suckling their male offspring!

Cool :)

Knock knock, anybody home?

Hurry and count to 30! *EDIT* with color

Here's the value sketch for one of my assignments that required us to have an artificial light source. The entire process of developing this idea has been such a good learning experience. Just the vast amount of work I have to put in to stay a float in my classes has gotten me a little down trodden and frustrated with my limitations, but the product seems really worth it you know?  The final colored version is due next week, and here I increased the contrast and darkened it to get the effect I want in the final. Am so scared of redoing it again though, me and coloring do not get along :)

Oh and here's one of the reference photos of my roomate, its almost if not more beautiful than the sketch! Just look at those shapes refracting off the wall.

I love monsters so much. I know they're not supposed to be real, but I swear to god they existed at some point, if only when we were all little kids stranded atop our beds, in fear that if we ventured out for a glass of water, the moment our bare feet touched the ground something would grab us. That something was so tangible and real back then! And yet even though it was the darkest part of our psyche we could somehow protect ourselves by either not opening our eyes or taking refuge under our unpenetrable blankets.

To bad the monsters arn't as easy to find now.

Am so tired.

*EDIT*

Oop the final color! Ugh, so just between you and me I really don't understand the purpose of gausche (guasche, gauche?). My roommate said that it may help to get the same dreamy and smooth quality as the sketch, but I, like always, just ended up using it as watercolor! Gaah, what a fool. But really, the only upside to using it seems to be that the colors move around a bit when touched by water, but it ends up becoming just as transparent as watercolor. 

Feedback was minimal, nothing I didn't expect. Composition was wack, said my colors were washed out etc. etc. I seem to lack that whole sense about how to use composition. The major complaint from the teacher was that it was so busy, and yet seeing that I left just some open space that I guess I thought made it all right. Plus idk, detail just seems so attractive. I want people to roam about my picture with their eyes, not sit like a lump on a log.

and, AND (!!!) all right guys, I didn't want the focal point to be the child, the monster is the character I care about because the child is ITS monster! Maybe becoming penpal's with ones teacher is advised, because I didn't realize how frustrated I was until I started editing this entry and writing about the critique.

And then the popsicle fell!

As you may not know my summer job is being a camp assistant at a long lineup of german summer programs. Really my boss (a.k.a my mother, yeah I'm that cool) is such a rad teacher that she rarely needs my help when it comes to controlling the young masses. Thus my time has been spent sitting around with the kids and just you know listening to their mini-dramas, doodling and reading picture books. On just such an occasion one of the girls, Jackie, came over not wanting to play on the playground, so we sat in the shade and made beasts in my sketchbook. Hers is on the right and is just about a million times more brilliant. I hope she doesn't mind I'm uploading this... hmmm 

Another something done while I was supposedly working lol. I am by no means a comic artist but sometimes you just wanna kick it old school and have some story boxes. And No I don't hide behind mailboxes and stalk folks, they just have sentimental value. 

Haha So this woman/ friend who's son I tutor was at my house for this epic German Smorgasbord. She checks up on me so she asked if she could see my art, so there I was all aghast and flustered while practically falling all over at myself to show her. Am pretty sure she didn't like any of it though, which I understand because all my work is really tiny and unremarkable, ahaha and like in odd little crumpled piles ontop of my bookcase. BUT I WAS SO HAPPY TO SHOW SOMEONE IN PERSON! For being known as "the artist" in my family and Washington friends, very few actually ever ask to see my art!  But I guess when you leave the sva nest you have to come to the sad conclusion that most people just don't care about comics or images. 

Or atleast not directly. Actually our society is infinitely saturated with pictures and colors that influence everything from mood to expectations... am always flip flopping whether art is a legitimately important thing to pursue or if it really is only something completely silly that contributes nothing to humanity. Oh don't bother with this entry, I really just wanted to type and share some pictures. 

Be careful, he looks mighty sketchy.

Forgot to tell you that I put away the beasty little black book and bought a smaller one mostly for writing. Just felt really weighed down by what I had put in the big one you know? But lucky for you guys, because I love your so much I'll post some of the tid bits that had been doodled in it. Oh yes and an illustration.

Meant to go along with the last blog entry. Once again I suceeded in puking as many colors as possible onto a piece of paper! Oh the humanity! hahaha also unintentionally neutered the poor fellow! le sigh.

Lip plate love.

Coyote boy pouncing on a pheasant. Absolutely no correlation with Where the Wild Things Are (Wo die wilden Kerle wohnen) since i was only introduced to that book after. But I did then fall deeply in love with it, like hella, AND NOW THEY'RE MAKING A MOVIE OF IT AND I AM SO EXCITED I COULD CRY! 

Owl love, not of the hipster persuasion.

Idea for a painting I kind of wanted to do, but never did LAZY!

Why won't it grow?

I'm a bit distressed by the rut I've fallen into in respects to my art. It just seems to be the same colors and types of characters I've always done.

here it goes with that box again, you know the one I can never quite get out of! Baaahhh humbug what a lame-o I am, especially this summer.

You know I had the full intention of creating these beautiful oil paintings, "serious art" but I always end up liking my drawings better or shamefully don't have the initiative or attention span to follow through.

AND I HAVN'T TOUCHED MY SKETCHBOOK IN AGES! Its so bad! So Maybe I'll stop doing these mini projects for awhile and just start working in my silly black book again. Observe the world a bit more and actually start writing again. Well, maybe after I do this mini-comic I was thinking of...

Oi, this journal was never meant to be a pity party, so I'm going to stop, take a haitus and come back with something actually worth sharing that will enrich your lives. Stay tunes ladies and gentlemen!

P.S. Photoshop can suck it.

Happy Fathers day?

Heres a picture I made for my dad for fathers day. I wasn't sure what to make for him since I kind of felt that my dad never really was that ultra-dad protector type, we were just always expected to take care of ourselves and not be stupid. Which I guess in itself was a kind of protector. 

Thus, because am currently obsessed with little red riding hood and all her incarnations I came up with this. Tada! 

She's an interesting character, Little Red. She's sent all by herself into the woods and has to learn about predators, and evil and the weighing of consequences. What was her mother thinking!?! 

There are of course all these different interpretations of what it all means, the most common one being that it represents a girl finding her way to womanhood, the red representing menstruation (collective "ewwww" from audience) and the wolf being that ever-present male who suddenly gives her attention once she's matured. 

It's very scary actually, how she's charmed by the wolf. Or atleast thats what I imagine, since the soundtrack for the Musical In to the Woods has been constantly playing. When we meet the wolf he bounces back and forth between him showing her all the wonderous things she will find if she leaves the path, while inwardly speaking of how he can't wait to possess her. He makes all these gutteral sounds, that are hyper sexual (in my opinion) and his voice oozed that ultra perfect 50s "honey I'm home" sappiness. What kind of appetite the the wolf has changes from different tellings. Current ones only say that he eats her, however early ones describe him asking her to undress and come into bed with him, all while under the guise of the grandmother. The whole things is so dirty! I LOVE IT! The musical does a good job of walking that tightrope between both so as not to freak out the children, but to touch on the nerves of the parents that are present.

The thing I love the most about "In to the Woods" is how they take fairy tales, which are known for their black and white lessons and show that nothing is ever so in real life. Everyone gets what they wish for and yet they still want more, bigger houses, different princesses etc. etc. In Little Red's case she says the following after being rescued:

And I know things now,
Many valuable things,
That I hadn't known before:
Do not put your faith 
In a cape and a hood,
They will not protect you
The way that they should.
And take extra care with strangers,
Even flowers have their dangers.
And though scary is exciting,
Nice is different than good.

Now I know:
Don't be scared.
Granny is right,
Just be prepared.

Isn't it nice to know a lot!
And a little bit not...

See, instead of feeling sorry for herself and letting this one violation sully the rest of her existence she learns from it and comes out a better person. It sucked, but she's thankful for it all the same. Thats a good story right?! Thats a story you want to tell your kids!

 

The Sentinel

             

Mmm, good morning today. The entire house smells like fresh quiche and bread because my mom is having a whole bunch of her friends over for brunch. Am very hungry and excited! After I plan on visiting my old high school art teacher, if I can get past security that is. But you're not here to here babbling about mundane plans, no! you're here for the art :)

So here's a little bit of what I've been doing. It all stemmed from this one night when I couldn't sleep so I just doodled a little bit. I don't know if I was distressed about something because everything that came out was kinda creepy, like dead worlds and ghosts leaving through the mouths of their hosts, rickity farm house beds etc. etc. I really liked this little (big) fellow that turned into a little painting. Not ultra happy with it because its one of those "the sketch was way better" situations but it was fun anyhoo. May go back and change the painting or just bring this character back.

Who is the sentinel you ask? Am not quite sure really. I know they're a passage way of sorts and a god-figure but beyond that I'm just as stumped as you.

An awkward introduction.

Hello there thus far non existent readers! Having the tendency to over analyze things such as introductions I figured just cutting to the chase and throwing some art your way would be better than rambling about my name, height and species of dog I owned. There's plenty of time for that later!

Welcome to Tragically Unpopular (exclamation point).